Too Late
by BeneathaMoonlessNight
Summary: Loki has three months to redeem himself, and has no intention of doing so. Perhaps a certain spider whose been in the same circumstance can help him? BLACKFROST!
1. Chapter 1, Apologize

_**Hey!**_** So this is a BlackFrost fic, who I will ship until death. I've been working on this over the summer, and with the help and encouragement of thefrozencherryblossom I have decided to post it up. I know I probably should have waited until after Thor: The Dark world was released, but I couldn't! Reviews are desired of course, tell me if you think I should continue. So here we go!**

_I'm holding on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground. And I'm hearing what you say, But I just can't make a sound _

_You tell me that you need me, __Then you go and cut me down, but wait, __You tell me that you're sorry, __Didn't think I'd turn around and say,_

_that's it's too late, to apologize_ **_~ Apologize, One Republic_**

**_CHAPTER ONE_**

The small ball hopped off the glass with a satisfying ping. For the last ten months (_or had it been more?_) the small metal sphere had been Loki's only source of entertainment. Creating various different challenges with it had been slightly amusing, but mostly frustrating, since his powers had been taken from him. The Asgardian council's final decision on Loki's sentence had been life imprisonment, which was less than he had expected. Perhaps, if he weren't the _son_ of Odin his punishment would have been harsher. Or maybe they thought that their mercy would move him to feel guilt. Well, it had been their mistake.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the heavy metal doors opening. Loki raised his head in curiosity.

"Why, _Father_, how benevolent of you, to visit this lowly prisoner. To what do I owe this… pleasure?"

Odin's face remained void of any emotion. It was then that Loki noticed Thor standing behind him. Of course his supposed brother would make an appearance. His look of quiet pity was enough to make Loki feel sick.

"Loki Odinson," (Loki grimaced) "You have been imprisoned here for one year," (_Oh, so it had been more than ten months), "_and you are yet to show any remorse for your actions against Midgard."

Loki snorted. "You will be waiting awhile for that Odin King."

The Allfather ignored him.

"I give you one final chance, before we take further action against you. Are you willing to redeem yourself?"

The corners of Loki's mouth twitched.

"I am not."

"Then you have accepted you fate. You are to be sent to the planet of Earth, where its people will decide what punishment is most fitting to your crimes."

This caught Loki's attention.

"You cannot do that. My punishment was decided here. If I am to die, I will die on Asgard, nowhere else."

"I never said you will die on Midgard." Odin interjected, his one good eye filled with bitter disappointment.

Loki laughed loudly. "By sending me to Earth you are signing my death sentence!"

"Father I beg you would reconsider, Loki is right. They will kill him." Thor pleaded. Loki rolled his eyes.

Odin stood a little straighter, his face suddenly filled with determination.

"Know your place, Thor." He said harshly. "If the Midgardians decide to give him death… So be it." He whispered, as he raised his staff.

Loki barely had a chance to prepare himself, before he felt an invisible force pulling him away from his prison cell, from his planet, from his home.

* * *

"Ms Romanoff, Director Fury is on the telephone. He wishes to speak with you, he claims it is urgent."

Natasha groaned. When Fury said something was urgent, it was never a good sign.

"Thank you, Jarvis. I'll just be a moment." She shot the last few targets with perfect accuracy then jogged over to the phone on the other side of Training room.

"Director?" she asked uncertainly. She never knew what he would ask these days.

"We need you to come in."

"Oh come on! I'm just back!" Damn Fury, and his stupid missions. But something in her gut told her that he was serious.

"Not just you Agent Romanoff. All of you."

Natasha almost dropped the phone in shock.

"Already? What's happened?" her voice lowering with urgency.

She heard Fury sigh. "I've just received word from our favourite Norse God that our _least _favourite Norse God is going to pay us a visit. He'll be here in about a half an hour.

Natasha swore in Russian. "I'll tell Stark and Steve. Clint's still in Brazil, but I'll give him a call anyway. I'm sure you're able to get Banner? We'll need back up as well, how big is his army this time?"

"You misunderstand me Agent Romanoff. He's a party of one this time. It's our turn to put him on the naughty step. Apparently Asgard's got bored of his silence."

"No shit!" called Tony from a different line. Natasha sighed. Of course he would be listening in. "Reindeer Games is coming? Let me get suited up, I'll be over in five!" Natasha heard the line disconnect, then the sound of Tony charging through the halls chanting "Reindeer Games!" at the top of his lungs. How Pepper deals with him was completely beyond her comprehension.

Placing her gun back in its holster she started dialling the familiar number of Clint Barton.

"Hey, it's me. You'll never believe what Fury's just told me. Remember about a year ago, when a supposedly mythical deity with some daddy issues decided to wage war on our planet?"

She smiled at Clint's gruff voice at the other side of the line.

"How could I forget?"

"He's coming back."

Clint was silent for a few minutes.

"Well, son of a bitch."

* * *

They all waited, clearly feeling uncomfortable about the situation. The guy had tried to kill them all. They were in the middle of a dry and sand covered terrain. Their was an uncomfortable silence due to the lack of any wind or even a breeze and no one spoke. It was obvious everyone was looking at the situation in their own mind, but one emotion was clearly mutual. Slight confusion. What exactly did the Asgardians expect them to do with Loki exactly? Natasha stood near Steve pondering over it all. A piece of dried grass crunched under her boot. Basically, they stood in the middle of nowhere waiting for Loki to land. Noticing the hazy light in the starless night sky, she hit Steve's arm, directing his gaze upwards. He nodded.

"I see it, I see it. Stark, you ready?"

"Bring it on, Rogers." Answered Tony's slightly distorted voice, as Ironman lent forward in a defensive position.

As the light began to pick up speed, Natasha was beginning to be able to make out a shape.

"The subject is about to make impact, take cover!" Natasha called before sheltering behind Steve's shield.

A large flash of light later, she peeked over the shield. Loki's tall frame was trying to stand up from the imprint left on the ground. He opened his eyes and groaned at the sight before him.

"I presume you're here to offer me that drink again?" he said weakly, collapsing to the floor again.

"As fun as that sounds Reindeer Games, we're the collection service today." Tony called from inside his suit.

Loki nodded as if this didn't surprise him. He attempted to pick himself up, but collapsed to the ground again.

"Well, I'm afraid I'm incapable of rising to greet you, so… if you would be so kind."

Natasha nodded at the small group of medics who were cowering behind one of the trucks.

"Go on, help the fallen prince."

They went and lifted him gingerly onto a stretcher. As they passed, Loki grabbed Natasha's wrist.

"Fallen king, actually."

* * *

"So, what's happening, Fury wasn't to clear." asked Steve as they half walked/ half marched through the halls of S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters.

"Neither was Thor. All we know is that Loki wasn't showing any remorse back on Asgard and they were getting fed up of him, so they've sent him back down here, for us to deal with."

Steve stopped up short. "_Deal with?"_

Natasha nodded. "As in punishment-wise."

Steve flinched. "So heavy on the torture and then a good dose of death?"

"Looks like it."

They stopped walking when a younger agent marched up to them.

"Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers, you are required in the Council room."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Just us?"

"No, all who were present at the Battle of New York."

Steve and Natasha shared a glance.

"Well that's interesting."

* * *

"That's the most stupid-ass thing I've ever heard!" shouted Director Fury at the wall of council members. Natasha silently agreed with him. She probably would have spoken out too, except she was still, even after nine years, wary of the Council. They had tried to deny her a place at S.H.I.E.L.D, claiming that she was most likely still working for the Russians, and they resented her further when she had proven them wrong. The Council didn't like being wrong.

"You want us, to try and convince him to feel some _remorse?_ Loki is a deranged extra-terrestrial with delusions of grandeur. He's not going to feel _sorry _for what he did; he thinks it's his birth right!" Fury was pacing the rom back and forth as he yelled, which was never a good sign in Natasha's book.

"You know what moves most people to feel remorse? A good 'ol tooth extraction."

"Director Fury this our best- and only- option since we've just received word that the Asgardian Thor will not remain on S.H.I.E.L.D's list of allies if we use the death sentence on his brother.

Fury winced. "That was supposed to remain confidential."

"Meaning we weren't supposed to hear about it." Answered the quiet voice of Bruce Banner as he and Clint entered the room. "Sorry we're late."

* * *

**Review? :)**


	2. Chapter 2, I knew you were trouble

**Hey again! I had this chapter already written too, so I thought I might as well update as not! Thanks again to my Beta-Person-Thing thefrozencherryblossom **

**I don't own Marvel or any of its works, just incase you were wondering or something.**

* * *

**Emmsy: Thanks so much! I'll be updating regularly, so keep an eye out! :D**

**orochimaru's cherry blossom: I'm glad you're interested, I'll try to keep it that way!**

**silimistrawberry: Glad you liked it! I'll update as regularly as I can :)**

* * *

_"Sorry we're late."_

"Oh you didn't miss anything important. Except for when the Council decided we're going to forgive Loki for trying to blow up New York… which the Council tried to do as well by the way." Tony said, sauntering across the room.

"The Council had its own reasons for that Mr Stark, and while we are grateful for what you did, we would appreciate it if you would stop throwing that in our faces every time you disagree with us…"

"We're wandering away from the point. I am not ordering my best team to babysit a temperamental deity!" Fury said over the shouting.

"We're your best team Fury? I'm touched; I think I'm welling up…" Tony muttered with mock sincerity.

"I meant Agents Barton and Romanoff." Fury answered, ending Tony's emotional breakdown efficiently.

"Director Fury, I propose a compromise- Give Loki three months to redeem himself and if by the end of the time period he has not changed… you can deal with him as you see fitting." The lead council member announced loudly.

Fury let out a long breath then nodded slowly.

"No!"

"Fury, you can't be serious!"

"Director, please, the guy's bat-shit crazy!"

Fury silenced them all with a wave of his hand.

"The council's request is reasonable. And you never know- we might be able to eh… _beat_ some sense into him."

"And the Asgardian King, Odin, has relieved Loki of his… gifts. He's practically human."

_Practically, _Natasha repeated in her head. Somehow, she knew that it wasn't going to be as simple as the council seemed to think.

* * *

"And why am I first on the babysitting roster?" Natasha grumbled over her breakfast.

"Why Ms Romanoff, you know very well why. Everybody else would beat the Asgardian shit out of Rock of Ages before five minutes went by." Tony said, food spilling from his mouth.

"And how do you know I won't?"

He grinned. "_Because_, you survived several months with me."

"True. Where are they keeping him? I doubt we have lots of Hulk- defying glass cages around."

"Obviously not, so since he escaped the "Hulk-defying cage" I've created something… a little harder to get out of. And comfortable. We didn't put much furnishing in the last one, since it was designed for a giant green rage monster. I've been working on it anyway, just in case. It's not completely functional yet, but Loki doesn't need to know that."

Natasha rolled her eyes as she finished off her salad. Frankly, she really didn't think that Loki deserved a five-star hotel, but Stark seemed to think he did. Well, maybe a nice, comfy prison cell might help with the _turn Loki into a Hippy _mission as Clint had dubbed it. He was, of course, last on the babysitting roster. Flying monkey Clint was still as fresh in Natasha's mind as he was in Clint's himself.

Dusting off the front of her uniform, she stood up from the table.

"I'd better get going. My shift starts in fifteen."

Tony nodded. "I'll see you in a couple of hours. Apparently I'm second best at dealing with Reindeer Games."

"Don't you have any other nicknames for Mr _I've got some serious sibling rivalry issues_?

He laughed. "Get going Black Widow; don't wanna be late, do you?"

"Roger that Iron Man."

* * *

"He's in there." Maria indicated with a tilt of her head.

"Any major trauma issues I should know about?"

"Not really. Several bruises, but the guys still a God strength wise. He's healing up fine."

"Good to know." Natasha muttered darkly, as she typed in the pass code she had been given.

"Agent Romanoff, you are authorised to use any force necessary to keep him in check." Maria said slowly.

Natasha simply nodded, as the heavy doors pulled open in front of her.

Marching into the room, she greeted Loki with "Fallen King."

Loki nodded. "Mewling Quim. I must admit, I expected my punishment to be more eh… physically painful."

"As opposed to mentally?"

"Your very presence revolts me."

Natasha smirked. "Good." She sat down on the low couch, at the other side of the room. She took in her surroundings.

Stark had made the room comfortable, but you could see the subtle things in the room- no windows obviously, cameras, tiny microphones, tranquilisers… amongst other things. Stark had really put his all into it.

"Tell me, how is Agent Barton? I'm sure you're delighted to have your one-true-love back to normal?"

Natasha didn't let herself answer.

"He _is_ back to normal I trust?"

Natasha still didn't answer.

The truth was Clint _wasn't _really back to normal. He didn't laugh anymore, he was angry all the time, angry at Fury, at S.H.I.E.L.D, at _her… _Constant nightmares. He'd wake up screaming at shadows. Fury had him on endless missions, just to get him off the base. They weren't sure where to go with him from here.

She threw Loki a dirty look, then went back to his file. She'd read it before of course, but Thor might have added to it.

"Your silence betrays your thoughts, Agent Romanoff. I might know a few ways bring him back to you…"

Oh, how she itched to smash his nose in.

"You want to shut up?" she asked, her hand inching towards her gun.

"Temper, temper. I'm quite serious, unless of course you _prefer _this new Agent Barton…" Loki said, his signature grin spreading across his face.

He was about to speak again, when a knife whizzed past him, millimetres from him. It lodged securely into the opposite wall. His eyes widened.

"Are you sure you want to finish that sentence Fallen King?"

"Very well, Mewling Quim."

* * *

"The sooner the Council realises that this is pointless, the better. The word _pointless_ was literally created for this situation." Tony ranted over his drink.

Friday night shawarma had become a regular happening since the famous Battle of New York. Natasha and Clint had probably missed more than they attended, and Bruce and Thor hadn't been present since the first time, but still. Tony threw a tantrum every time someone tried to cancel- Even though it was usually only Steve who came.

A young waitress came over and started handing out their dishes.

"I don't like to be handed things, sorry, if you could just…" Tony started muttering, and Steve took the plate before placing it in front of him.

"Thank you Captain."

"Next time I have to do that, it goes in your face."

"It's a pet peeve!"

Natasha laughed at their bickering, before she caught Clint's eye. He was fiddling with his fork, not eating. The dark bags under his eyes told her that the bad dreams were still a nightly occurrence. He had refused to tell her what they were about. In fact, he was still denying anything was wrong with him. She reached over and took his hand, giving him a look which she hoped was reassuring. _It'll get better. I promise._

He gave her a tiny smile before taking his hand back. Natasha let out a loud sigh.

"You and Tasha had the first shifts today right? Is our friend talking?"

"Well," Tony started, "he was in a perfectly charming mood with me. He seemed to be delighted that our spider had left- Sorry Nat, I think he likes me better."

Natasha shook away the lame insult.

"Tony, he's all yours."

"Not my thing, Tasha."

Natasha flung her fork at him. He dodged at the last second, and it sank into the wooden chair.

"Can we have another fork please? " Steve called to one of the bored looking waitresses.

"Natasha, you know that I have nothing against you flinging cutlery at Stark's face, but not in a restaurant please. Remember what happened last time?"

Natasha contemplated it for a while, then dropped her knife.

"You win this time, Rogers."

* * *

"So is this how we are to spend our time together Agent Romanoff? In complete and utter silence?" Loki called from the other side of the room. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Well obviously not in complete and utter silence."

"Touché. Would you prefer it, if I didn't interrupt your inner musings?"

"If you wouldn't mind." Natasha answered her voice dripping with sarcasm.

The usual hush settled in the room, before Loki interrupted again.

"I was quite the scholar on Asgard you know. It wouldn't be right for me to consider myself an academic if I didn't embrace the literature and science of Midgard as well." Loki mused, half to himself. Natasha let out an over dramatic sigh, before tapping her ear piece.

"Stark? He's bored."

_"Well I'm sure you know more than a few ways to entertain him."_

Natasha ignored the jibe. "Look just bring ever single mind-numbingly boring book you were made to study in High School."

Tony rattled off the few names he remembered and Natasha nodded. "Yeah you've got the idea, ask Bruce if you need any more."

**Review? :)**


	3. Chapter 3, Therapy

**Hey! So not much to say here this time. As always thanks to my Beta thefrozencherryblossom**

**JessicaRavenBlade: I'm glad you like it :)**

**AlisonAPD: Ha, that's my approach on fanfics as well! There really should be more BlackFrosts out there...**

**Moriarty-assbutt: The babysitting leads lots of places I assure you. Also your user name is all kinds of awesome. **

_**I don't own Marvel or any of it's works. I mean I'm still in school for heaven's sake.**_

**CHAPTER THREE**

_Ask Bruce if you need anymore_

"I cannot understand your human obsession with fiction. " Loki muttered, throwing _A Tale of Two Cities _onto the ever-growing pile of books. Natasha smirked.

"Any favourites? I thought you'd be able to relate to Macbeth."

"Perhaps in his ambition, but not in his methods. And of course, I would not have abused my power."

"I find that hard to believe."

Loki was about to reply when Tony burst through the door, his face hidden behind several boxes.

"Stark what is this?"

"I thought Reindeer games would like to experience traditional American cuisine, like Chinese and Italian food." Tony muttered as he dumped the various boxes on the nearest surface. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"I don't think Loki would be too into Dominoes."

"Which is exactly why I got Pizza Hut. Give me a hand with these."

"I was hungry anyway." Natasha muttered as she dished out the food.

"So, Odinson, are you more of a tomato sauce or barbeque sauce guy?" Tony asked as he piled up his plate.

"Laufyson. And I am not hungry." Loki mumbled as he picked up the next book on the pile.

"Aw, come on, I got all this, and you won't even take a slice?" Tony groaned as food tumbled out of his mouth, staining his shirt. Loki grimaced.

"You have no idea how much you resemble Thor at this moment."

"It's okay Tony. Pack up the leftovers; I'll leave some in with Clint later."

* * *

Natasha stalled for a few moments before knocking on the door. No matter how guilty she felt about avoiding Clint, she still did it.

"Come in."

She took a deep breath and was glad she did when the door opened- the smell of stale sweat and alcohol was overwhelming.

"Jesus, Barton, when was the last time you got this place cleaned?" She asked, wrinkling her nose at the stench. Clint shrugged from where he was slumped. Natasha recognised the signs immediately.

"Christ, are you drunk?"

Clint gave her a clumsy smile, as he made a "little bit" motion with his fingers.

Natasha groaned.

"Don't have time for this, Barton" She murmured as she lifted him up onto the couch.

"Sorry, Natalia."

She froze. Clint looked ashamed for a moment, then slurred an apology.

Natasha shrugged, proceeding to gather all the bottles from the room, both empty and full.

"How are those nightmares doing?" she asked, considering it the perfect time to ask, seeing as he wouldn't remember it in the morning.

"Not good. I keep seeing all the faces of the agents I killed Tash. I'm walkin' down the hallway, and they keep on passin' me. Every time I go speak to them, they start screamin' and then… then they die Tash. And then I realise it's me that's killin' them. That my hands are covered in blood and I…" He sighed as he lay back on the couch.

"I see Coulson and he walks up to me and says, that it's my fault, but that I can stop it, but I don't know how Tasha. I don't know how."

Natasha bit her lip as she sat down next to him. "Clint, I…"

"Nothin' you can do Tasha."

"I'm here, you know that right?" she asked cautiously, as she draped an old blanket over him.

"I know."

She half smiled then stood up.

"I left some food on the table for you." He didn't answer, just stared at her. Natasha knew what was coming and tried to leave before he could say it, but she was too slow.

"I love you, Tasha."

"I know Clint." She answered quietly as she closed the door behind her.

He only ever said it when he was drunk.

* * *

"You're not sleeping." Natasha accused, as Loki studied _To Kill a Mockingbird._

"I do not need to sleep."

"Jesus, not you too." Natasha grumbled. She picked as spot on the wall as her target and then started throwing knives.

Loki peered over his book. "What do you mean?"

She laughed. "I've heard and used 'I don't need sleep' enough times to know what it really means."

"And that is?"

"Nightmares." She answered between throws.

"Ah. Is it that obvious?"

She walked over and plucked the book out of his hands.

"Sleep. You need to be on top form for your redemption."

Loki scoffed. "You do not honestly believe that I am going to redeem myself within these three months do you?"

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Stark told me my time limit."

"'Course he did." Natasha muttered to herself as she gathered up her knives.

"You did not answer my question."

"What question?"

Loki stood up. "Do you honestly believe I'm capable of redemption?"

"'Course I do- everybody's capable of change. I'm living proof of that."

"Oh, so you are actually going to try and convert me to your ways?"

"Well I've never failed in a mission before." Natasha trailed off as she lodged a knife back into the pattered wallpaper.

"We're not so very different, you and I, Agent Romanoff. Both doing what we were brought up to think was right, until we reached a point where we realised there was no point." Loki mused as he pulled the knife from the wall, and threw it into the one opposite.

"Both capable of changing." Natasha answered back pointing a knife in his direction. "But there is one major difference between us" She said quietly, so much that she was almost whispering.

Loki walked over until their noses were almost touching.

"And what's that?" He murmured.

"You don't want to." She answered before abruptly turning away.

Loki smiled. "Agreed."

"The Captain will be over in five. Behave, he's not as nice as I am."

"Thank you for the warning."

* * *

Natasha stalked down the hallway, a shower the first thing on her mind. She felt sick… and slightly worried.

She wasn't worried about Loki's apathy or assurance that he would never change. Not even worried about his incredible accuracy with a knife.

She worried about her growing attraction towards him.

**_BTW _there are virtual bonus points for those who can spot the quote I stole :D**


	4. Chapter 4, Broken Strings

**Hey peeps, sorry it's been awhile. I know my chapters are usually quite short, but this story's a long one so I'm cutting it up into tasty bites. :) I don't think there's much point in me answering reviews this week :( There quite addictive aren't they reviews? (not-so-subtle hint there) So yeah here's chapter four! btw try to forgive any mistakes, it's really late over here. Review if you can!**

* * *

Chapter Four

Natasha sighed when she looked at her watch, seeing it was time for babysitting duty. She had been both dreading and anxiously waiting for it the last twenty-four hours. After agonising over it during the night she decided it didn't really matter if she had the hots for Loki or not- so long as nobody found out.

Walking down the hallway she caught herself glancing at her reflection in the windows. _Jesus, Romanoff, get a grip of yourself, your acting like a bloody hormonal schoolgirl. _The thought of herself as one of those simpering teems scared her enough for her to calm down slightly.

Putting her usual black look on her face she walked through the steel doors…. to find absolutely nothing at all.

"Shit!" She whispered repeatedly, quickly glancing around the room. Yup, Loki definitely wasn't there.

Trying to keep composure she tapped into her earpiece.

"Steve? He's not here."

_Who's not here?_

Natasha inwardly groaned. "Santa Claus. Who the hell do you think Rogers?"

_Oh… yikes well that's just swell isn't it? Who was with him before you?_

She quickly answered that it was Tony, while taking several furtive glances over her shoulder, hoping no one realised how much shit they were in.

_Look, you interrogate Stark; I'll try and find him. Let's try and keep this from Fury for the time being, shall we?_

"Took the words right out of my mouth Cap'n" Natasha muttered as she powered walked back through the halls.

* * *

Bursting through the doors in a flurry of Red she grabbed Tony by his collar and pinned him against the wall.

"Stark where the hell is he? What the hell are you doing, you know you're not supposed to leave until the next shift arrives!" She spat, trying desperately not to kill him.

"Natty, I'm afraid I can't understand you." He choked out, trying to pry her hands from his throat.

"Loki! He's not in his goddamn cell!" She hissed, releasing her hold on him slightly seeing as he was turning a slight purple.

"Well, with my powers gone, I'm afraid I can't be in two places at once." A silky voice purred from behind her.

A mixture of relief and fury bubbled up inside her as she turned to see Loki's amused expression.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side Agent Romanoff."

"I think you already are, bud" Tony piped up, as he clapped Loki's shoulder, before sitting back down on the leather couch.

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" Natasha asked through gritted teeth.

"I have Daddy Fury's permission, does it really matter what it was for?" Tony answered hurriedly, shooting Loki warning glances.

"Oh I'm intrigued."

Loki grinned. "Mr Stark asked for my assistance in a mission he was trying to complete."

"Reindeer Games, I'm warning you..."

"What mission?" Natasha asked cautiously, as she texted Steve to call off the search.

"It would appear that he wasn't able to complete a level on this… video game. It's quite entertaining actually. Human kind has been infected by this fungus that turns them into mindless cannibals."

Natasha stared at Tony incredulously.

"You let the psychopath play a _Zombie Apocalypse game_?"

Tony shrugged. Natasha turned back around in time to see Loki smash a zombie's head into a wall.

"Take that you fish-faced, one-eyed, son of a harlot!" Loki muttered furiously tapping at the controller.

"Yeah you tell him, Laufyson!" Tony called as he opened a beer.

"Want one?" He offered, shovelling peanuts into his mouth. Once again, Natasha was taken aback at his ease of mind.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing" She hissed, knocking the can from his hand.

"Goddammit, Widow… and yes of course I know what I'm doing. See, the way I figure it, is that Loki has some deep rooted anger issues."

Natasha stared at him blankly.

"I thought that was a given."

"Let me finish. You see I guess that up in Valhalla or whatever; he didn't have a proper _outlet_ for that anger, so he took it out on Earth. So now, to prevent him from taking his next his next tantrum to Mars, I have given him a new method of releasing his inner torment." He finished with a smug smile that practically screamed 'Praise me! Praise me!'

"And your great idea was have him kill _virtual_ people instead of real people?"

"Not people. Zombies." Tony corrected. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Fine Stark. Whatever the outcome is I hope you know it's on your watch." Natasha spun on her heel and was about to march away I her signature huff, when she heard Loki call her back.

"Do stay Agent Romanoff; I could use your expertise on battle strategies… Son of a..! Stark where are these coming from?" He was suddenly distracted by a new attack on his avatar. Natasha sighed. She _was_ supposed to be watching Loki anyway.

* * *

"I hit him! I killed him! Tony this game is wrong!" Natasha called, flinging the controller at his head. Loki laughed.

"I do believe that it is Mr Starks turn." He said with a grin picking up the empty bowl Natasha had knocked over in her outburst. She shook her head.

"Screw this. I'm tired anyway. Seeya tomorrow Ironman." Stark saluted her from the couch. "Later's Widow."

Natasha felt Loki's eyes on her. She threw him an awkward wave, before heading out the door. His gaze was still trained on the door several moments after she left.

"You should do it you know." Tony said, his eyes not leaving the screen.

"Do what?" Loki asked half-heartedly.

"Go after her doofus. I could totally see you checking her out." Tony said, taking on the speech of what Loki gathered to be the average adolescent on Midgard. All the same, he didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

"Agent Romanoff, wait!" Loki called after her, half running through the empty hallway. Natasha froze for a couple of seconds, which allowed Loki to catch up. She wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not.

"Allow me to escort you to your chambers." He said slowly, as if suddenly remembering that that wasn't done on "Midgard"

"Really, really not necessary, Loki." She said quietly, not trusting herself to look at him.

"I insist."

They walked in silence for a few minutes until Natasha couldn't it anymore.

"You should really go, try and get some sleep. I can find my room on my own."

"Really, I don't mind. And you already know that I can't sleep."

Natasha nodded, remembering their interlude from the day before.

"Oh right, the nightmares. Penny for your thoughts?" She stifled a laugh at Loki's confused face. She rephrased the sentence

"Do you want to talk about them?"

"I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours." He suggested, staring ahead, but glancing at her through the corner of his eye.

"Deal." Natasha answered, waiting for him to start. Seeing that she wasn't going to give up Loki sighed.

"They're about… The Other." He started. Natasha noticed his hand was shaking slightly.

"He was… one of the leaders of the Chitauri. He swore to me, that if I failed, there was no barren moon, I could hide. That I'd lust for something sweeter than death once they found me."

Natasha was surprised at the sympathy she felt for him. She knew what fear of failure was like.

"But Tony he… he blew up their planet didn't he?" She stuttered. Loki scoffed.

"Indeed he did, but I would be surprised indeed if The Other didn't survive that."

Silence fell upon them once more as Natasha digested the information. Loki let out a short breath then grinned at her.

"Now. Your turn."

"The Red Room." She said simply. "Usually The Red Room. Occasionally it's the people I killed, taking their revenge, but not a lot." She sighed. "I suppose you can run from your past but you can't hide from it."

She suddenly noticed that they were at her room.

"This is my stop." She unlocked the door and went to step inside but Loki caught her arm.

"What was it? The Red Room?"

Natasha shuddered. "Oh no, mister, I'm not nearly drunk enough for that conversation. Maybe another time."

"Well then Agent Romanoff. I bid thee goodnight."

He made a stiff bow, then turned to walk away.

"Natasha." She called after him, immediately wishing she could bite back the word.

"What?" He asked dumbfounded.

"Call me Natasha. Agent Romanoff is quite a mouthful to be saying all the time."

She gave him a small, awkward grin then shut the door behind her.

"Natasha." Loki muttered to himself as he walked away, trying out the name on his lips.


	5. Chapter 5, A Love Like War

**Hey! New chapter, mostly Natasha coming to grips with her fancying Loki. Let's answer some reviews!**

**AlisonAPD:  Fun Fact that was actually the first scene I thought up, while I was melting by a pool in Portugal. I love that scene...  
**

**Orochimaru's cherry blossom:**** I just did lol :P**

**Guest:**** Your review was one of the sweetest reviews ever! thank you so much, I do my very best to inspire as many feels as possible :)**

**Jo****:**** I know what you mean, I love writing Tony's dialogue, it's easier to think of apposed to Natasha who I can never tell when she would keep her cool, or show some emotion. I think she wouldn't be to harsh on Loki since he probably reminds her to much of herself :) **

Chapter 5

"Stark, is this really necessary? Surely we have more important things to worry about than shawarma." Natasha grumbled, as she sorted out the contents of her handbag. Tony gasped in horror.

"Black Widow, the sky may fall, the ground may crumble, but there will never be anything as important as shawarma. Get your coat dear, we're leaving."

Natasha let out a loud sigh as she pulled on her boots, when Tony stuck his head back around the door.

"Oh, and I've invited Reindeer Games. Not a problem is it?" He gave her a grin that totally said 'I know something you don't'.

Rolling her eyes dramatically, before glancing at herself in the mirror. She hadn't really made any effort. Tugging at the collar of her sweater and then fiddling with the belt hooks of her jeans, she frowned. Well. Nothing ever went wrong from _looking nice._

She applied one final coat of lip-gloss as she went down the stairs, quickly catching a glimpse of her reflection in the cold metal walls. She smoothed down the front of the pine green peplum dress and pondered if Loki would like the ensemble, when she stopped so suddenly she almost fell over. _Did she _really _just think that?_

A shudder fluttered down her spine. She almost ran back up the stairs to put on the hoody again. Taking a deep breath she steadied herself. She was Black Widow. It never mattered if Clint or Loki or God himself liked her outfit. All that mattered was her life and the mission on hand. That's all that ever mattered.

* * *

"Jesus Tasha, there you are! We thought you'd been abducted or something." Steve said, his face filled with relief. Poor Steve, always worried about anyone and everyone, she thought with slight disdain and jealousy. It wasn't that she didn't have any empathy, it's just worrying about people never occurred to her in situations where should be worried. Worrying meant caring, and caring meant _love. And love _,she told herself sternly, _was for children. _

"No such luck, Cap." She said with an easy, fake, grin. Her smile almost faltered when she Loki. He was wearing a crisp, light blue shirt and dark trousers that contrasted very nicely indeed. She refrained from biting her lip and picked a spot on the horizon to stare at until they got into the cab. It didn't last very long though.

"Lady Natasha, you look stunning. I must say, even though I'm very partial to green, it suits you better than it does me." Loki said smoothly, but his expression changed very suddenly, his eyebrows knitting together, his cool grin quickly turning into a frown. He looked away from her and began to quicken his pace slightly.

She answered slowly, his sudden mood swing throwing her slightly.

"Well uh… thanks. I guess this is the part where I say you don't look too bad yourself?

Loki waved her off with his hand. "That's a given, quim. The um… horseless carriage is here."

* * *

Natasha sat down in her chair glancing around for Clint to sit beside only to find he wasn't there.

"Bruce, where's Clint?" She asked the doctor as he sat down beside her. He shrugged.

"He said he didn't feel like it."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "And Tony accepted that?"

"Obviously. Well, either that or Tony hasn't noticed yet."

Natasha nodded pulling her chair into the round table, lost in thought. Clint wasn't getting better then. He was getting worse.

"Well Ms Widow, what can you recommend?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Tony orders, you'll have to ask him." She answered coolly, placing her napkin over her knees. She noticed Loki smirk, then pull back into his chair.

An hour later and Loki hadn't said another word, at least not to her. Not that she was keeping count or anything. After fixing her used knife and fork on her plate she moved her hands to pick up her napkin, but found nothing there. She had absent mindedly torn it to shreds. With her knowledge of human quirks and movements she knew this only meant two things – nervousness… or a guilty conscience. She let out a quiet gasp dusting the shreds onto the floor. She slowly looked over at Loki, but her was staring right back at her. Her heart quickened to such a point that she couldn't believe nobody else heard it, she could feel the flush creeping into her cheeks. She wasn't used to this. She couldn't take this.

She massaged her temples, using the calming breaths Banner had taught her to use when she was frustrated. _Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, then out for eight. Repeat…_

"Natasha? Are you alright" Bruce asked her quietly. She glanced up to find all the eyes from her table, and a few from others, trained on her. She threw them all a weak smile.

"You know what, I'm not really feeling the best. I think I'll head home early. Sorry Tony."

He shrugged her off nonchalantly, not without losing the look of a kicked puppy. She took off throughout the restaurant without looking back once.

* * *

Once she was in the confines of her floor of Avengers headquarters she let out a long-held in scream.

_Damn Loki! Damn Norse gods and their undeniable charm and… and_… She sighed. God knows what it was that made Loki attractive. Suddenly a thought occurred to her.

What if she _wasn't _attracted to him? What if he just wanted her to be? Thor had said that Loki's powers were gone, but the dude was the God of Mischief, it was highly likely he had kept some… what if had just jinxed her or something? This was a calming if slightly worrying thought. She could work with jinxed. She could work with anything other than… compromised.

Doing the calming breaths again she thought out her plan. She would confront Loki. She would do whatever was necessary to get the truth out. Next compliment out of his mouth would be his last, she'd make sure of it.

"Lady Natasha? Are you quite well?" Loki asked, his voice slightly muffled from outside the door.

"You've lost the privilege to call me that." She answered opening the door, gesturing for him to come inside.

"Oh, whatever have I done now?" He said teasingly, slightly worried inside.

"You know exactly." She muttered darkly

"Was it because I called you quim?" He asked confused, desperately racking his brain trying to find what he had done to lose her favour so quickly.

"What have you done to me?" She whispered softly, thought the tone didn't reach her expression.

"Nata - Agent Romanoff, I don't know what you mean," He answered gently, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Why don't you tell me what I have done, so that I may win your favour again."

"Why don't you just wave your hand and make me like you again?" She said suggestively, hoping she wouldn't have to spell it out for him.

"Wave my… You do not think I have hypnotized you in some way do you?"

She shrugged. "You did it to Clint easily enough."

His eyes flashed angrily. "You know very well that I have lost my abilities! I am a man , an ordinary, dull man now, just like your Clint!" He shouted shaking her slightly.

"I can't make a feather levitate, and you think I've clouded your mind, to make you _like _me? I don't even know if I'm immortal anymore!"

"I just thought…" She started, but Loki scoffed.

"You thought, that I must have tricked you because, there's _no reason on earth_ that you'd be able to relate to me _Black Widow_ is there? Is there!? Well let me tell you this, miss Natalia, you relate to me because we are the same, you and I, and whatever feelings you have towards me, or I have towards you are completely natural, you understand? And they are nothing to do with my now non-existent powers, understand? Nothing!" He finished seething, turning away from her abruptly. Natasha choked back a sob, she refused to cry in front of anybody let alone him. They were silent, for how long neither of them knew, Loki's words still hanging in the air, like a poisonous gas that might suffocate them at any moment.

Wiping her eyes, Natasha approached him gently, like you would an injured wild dog. She placed her hand on his shoulder drawing him in closer to her.

"I'm sorry."

The words struck him harder that a physical hit. No one other than Thor had ever apologised to him before. And Thor rarely ever meant it.

He didn't really know how to answer so he just nodded, resting his forehead against hers, their breath mingling together.

"I forgive you." He said in a hushed whisper, not sure if the words were correct, or even if anybody used the phrase.

They stayed like that, so close, inches apart, moving closer at a millimetre a minute. And Natasha didn't know what would have happened if Clint hadn't walked in.

"Tasha?" He muttered groggily. "I heard shouting, what's going on?"

They broke apart almost harshly.

"Nothing." Loki said swiftly. "I was just enquiring after Agent Romanoff's health. Goodnight to you." He said striding out the door, before turning slightly at the door frame.

"Goodnight, Natasha" He repeated, asking without asking if I was okay to use her given name again. And she nodded.


	6. Chapter 6, Truth or Cliché

**Hey sorry for the late update. Apologies for the chapter. It's not a filler really... and it might be a little bit on the short side (I plan to make up for it in the next few chapters though)... anyway shoutouts!**

**Thanks to my wonderful Beta therozencherryblossom and also thanks to AlisonAPD who seems to be doing all my advertising for me on Tumblr. It's people like you who deserve all the best things in life :P**

Chapter Six

"Nice to see you up and about." Natasha said, genuinely cheerful- It was nice not having to babysit him anymore. "Did they finally take the shackles off?"

"Not quite…" He said ruefully, lifting his trouser leg up slightly so that she could see the blinking metal band around his ankle.

"Apparently, it will send an 'electric shock' through my body if I try to leave the tower. I have had the experience of being 'tasered' described to me and I do not wish to test it out."

Natasha laughed remembering the, probably heavily exaggerated; story Thor had told them of his own multiple Taser experience.

"Well I've never been tasered myself so I can't confirm what you've been told."

Loki nodded and then the conversation drifted back to awkward silence and- dare she say it- tension of a sexual nature. She blushed at her own thought, and desperately looked for something to talk about.

"What book are you reading?" She asked quickly indicating towards the volume he was carrying.

"Ah, Lady Potts recommended it. She is kind to me, overly so, I think. It's called _Wuthering Heights_- It's by a lady as well, I believe. Unusual, it's what drew my attention."

"Do you like it?"

"It's dreary and sentimental, so far. As I think of it, most of literature is based on sentimentality in this realm. Why do so many books focus on the child's topic?" He said with a sly grin.

Natasha saw where the conversation was headed, and every ounce of her common sense told her to abort, but she couldn't bring herself to.

"Do explain." She said copying his smirk.

"Gladly. There's Romeo and his Juliet, Sydney and his Lucie, The Phantom and Christine, what do all these names have in common I ask you?"

Knowing he didn't really want her to answer, she just raised an eyebrow.

He leaned in closely, his hand resting lightly on her waist, so close that his breath moved her hair.

"They all die." He whispered gently, before pulling back. "They die and what for?"

Natasha struggled for an answer that was both witty and sensible, a comment that would throw him off guard but couldn't and in the end answered simply with:

"Love."

"Correct. They died for love. When you find me a book where the main character survives for love, I'll deem it a masterpiece." He said dryly opening the book again as he walked away.

Well. Natasha could never turn away from a challenge.

* * *

She dumped the large pile of books on the chest of drawers. Loki peered over the top of his book.

"What's this?"

"Some more books for you to read. All of them, and I can guarantee this, about _love conquering all_.

"_Pride and Prejudice, The Princess Bride…_ what's this?" He asked curiously picking up the most battered copy in the pile.

"That's a rarity that one. Contains all the most popular fairy tales from this world. Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson, they're all there."

"I'm not interested about the fair folk of this world Natasha."

"They're just called that, they're not necessarily all about fairies. They're um… legends, myths if you will. The stories we read to our children."

"I'll read that first then. Why are you doing this, might I ask, do you not agree with me?"

Natasha smirked. "Whether I agree with you or not I love proving people wrong."

"Is that why you try, despite yourself, to change me? To prove yourself wrong?" Loki said shrewdly as he read the introduction to the book.

"Maybe."

He sighed. "On Asgard, we tell our children the stories of the bravery of Odin, his son Thor and their gravest enemies, Jotuns."

Natasha sat back beside him, curious about Asgard.

"Aren't there any stories of Loki?"

"As I said, greatest enemies the Jotuns. I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night, Natasha. Never forget that." He said pointing the book at her for emphasis.

Suddenly, and loudly, Tony burst into the room. Natasha inwardly groaned. How the hell was she supposed to get through with Loki, if people didn't bloody knock!

"Tasha, Tasha, Tasha, guess what!" He squealed like a child.

"What?" answered Loki and herself in perfect union.

"Point Break's coming to check up on our residential Asgardian Mussolini! Just in time for the Charity Ball too!"

"Point Break?" Loki asked warily obviously knowing who Tony was referring to, and desperately hoping he was wrong.

"Yup." Natasha answered coolly. "He means Thor."


	7. Chapter 7, Secrets

**Hey guys! Lots of new favourites and follows for the last chapter, thank you so much! Also thanks to AlisonAPD  and Moriarty-assbutt  for their wonderful reviews, which I immensely enjoyed reading. A little change in this chapter, it's all Loki's pov, which was interesting to write. So hope you enjoy, as always I don't own Marvel or any of its works. Please forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes, it's really late here and I'm Beta-less. **

Chapter 7

She had amazing accuracy. Each blade sunk into the target in the very centre, every single time. Even he couldn't have done it. But that wasn't all, it was graceful, it was a dance. She pierced the bull's-eye with the same ease and grace as she had pierced his heart. Figuratively of course.

She flung the final knife with a little more force than necessary he thought. He watched as she let out a long sigh, leaning against the nearest wall, her brow furrowed, her face flushed.

"What's the matter, love? You seem a little… tense?" he asked trying to find the right word.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes as she gathered up her weapons.

"You could say that. We've eh… got some bad news. Bad and worrying."

"Do tell."

She shot him a withering look. "It's classified."

"Ms Widow, who in all the realms, am I going to tell?"

She contemplated that for a minute, and Loki relished in knowing he had won her over so easily.

"Fury got a call from Jane Forster. You know the scientist?"

Loki shrugged. They all seemed to be scientists here.

Natasha half smiled. "Thor's girlfriend."

Ah. That woman, who had changed him so much.

"What does she say?"

"It's about Eric Selvig, the guy who built your giant death ray."

Yet another scientist then.

"What's wrong with him?" Loki asked carefully, though he was already quite sure what had happened- he was wondering who it would happen to first. However, he wasn't as satisfied as he thought he would be. In actual fact, he felt rather uncomfortable, almost… guilty. He carefully masked his features so that Natasha wouldn't see his horrified expression.

"Well, she says that Dr Selvig has lost his sanity, to the point where SHIELD had to come collect him."

"In what way has he become insane?" Loki said, not bothering to hide his curiosity.

"Babbling nonsense, screaming at things that aren't there, trying to harm others… and himself I've heard. SHIELD has him under surveillance, we're doing everything we can…" she bit her lip, trailing off as she disappeared into her own thought.

Loki was surprised at his own discomfort, but hers was painful to endure.

"Natasha I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were close to him." He said slowly hoping to provide her some reassurance. She laughed quietly.

"It's not that, I mean I'm sorry for the guy and all, but worrying thing is that the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with him. It's not anything they've seen before. And that's not even the worst part." She finished, her breath quickening and her eyes, to Loki horror, blurring.

"What is?" he asked mentally kicking himself.

"Over the past few months he's had a few other symptoms. Depression, insomnia, nightmares… And the same… the same things are happening to-" she couldn't finish her breath coming out in angry tearless sobs. Loki was at a loss at what to do, He reached out to do something, pat her back stroke her face, her hair anything, but recoiled at the last second.

"Are happening to who, love?"

She looked up at him, fear and despair ablaze in her eyes.

"To Clint."

Loki nodded. Of course it came back to the hawk, it always did.

Natasha wiped her eyes, a cool, emotionless mask settling over her features.

"Sorry, I'm just a little messed up at the minute. Look, I need to ask you something."

"Yes?" Loki answered weakly, desperately hoping she was going to ask him his favourite sandwich filing or something similar.

"Maybe I'm over reacting, but I know for a fact that the only connection between Barton and Selvig was that they were both under your hypnosis spell thing." She said mechanically, not looking him in the eye. She didn't give him a chance to answer.

"Is this because of the spell, and do I need to worry about Clint?"

Loki took a deep breath then reached out to turn her face to his.

"No. I swear that I have nothing to do with Dr Selvig's illness, and you do not need to fear for Agent Barton's sanity." He answered slowly pouring all his skill into each word. And it worked, as visible relief flooded her beautiful face.

"Was hoping for that. Look, Thor's arriving later tonight I think, so meet up downstairs around seven, 'kay?"

Loki nodded with a smile. He took Natasha hand quickly. She turned around to return his grin.

"I'll help with Selvig's diagnoses. See if there's anything I can do." He said lowly, trying not to blush like a schoolboy.

Her grin spread even wider and before he could react she brushed her lips against his cheek.

"See you later." She said as she spun away out the door.

Sometimes Loki hated that he was the God of Lies.

* * *

"Brother!" Thor boomed, clapping a hand on Loki's shoulder. Loki grimaced at Thor's enthusiasm. Some things never change.

"Sir Tony has been telling me of your improvement, off the battles you have fought, the monsters you have slain…"

"I did say that they were virtual Thor." Tony butted in awkwardly as Loki threw him a murderous glance.

"It is no matter, I can see the change in him." Thor beamed as he placed his other arm around Tony.

"Ah it is good to be back on Midgard."

Loki sat from the corner as the good doctor informed Thor of the recent developments with Selvig. He didn't miss glances Thor shot at him, the lines in his forehead becoming more pronounced with every passing moment. He almost didn't notice Natasha sitting down beside him. Almost.

"He has the same line of thought as you did." He muttered darkly.

"He'll forget about it as soon as Tony gives him his invitation." She answered in the same tone.

"What invitation?" Loki asked, confused.

"For the Charity Black and White Ball next week." She answered primly, her voice mockingly posh.

"Bit of a mouthful," Loki quipped, "Would not "Autumn Ball" be easier?"

She shook her head. "It's not for Autumn."

"And where's my invitation?"

She laughed. "It's to raise funds for the children that became orphans after the battle of New York. Do you really think you'd be welcome?"

"Ah. I could always go in disguise. Is there any chance that Tony could make it a masque?"

"A slight chance, seeing as it's in October. I'll see if he'll push it back to Halloween."

"Please do. I love a good masque."

Natasha laughed. "I've got to go check on Clint. Have fun brother bonding." She said, turning his attention to an approaching Thor. He groaned loudly.

He started rehearsing the upcoming speech about how he was not responsible for the scientist's insanity, even though he was, and then offer his services to the raging beast, even though he was certain he was unwelcome. When did life become so complicated?


	8. Chapter 8, Can't believe my heart

**It's Wednesday! Fanfic day! yeah! Would to thank AlisonAPD, Moriarty-assbutt, and TheEmoVanity for their wonderful reviews and all the people who've followed and favourited. By the way I may or may not be able to update next week, since I have all day rehearsals for my school show, so I don't know if I'll have time. Sorry about that. Anyway, here's chapter eight!**

Chapter 8

"Tony, you can't let him go!" Steve yelled, practically shaking his fist. Tony looked at him with apathy.

"I don't see why not, he has as much a right to go as Thor." He said as he shrugged on his dinner jacket. Steve's jaw fell slack as he looked at Tony with baffled hatred. He pressed his hand on his forehead for a moment, before turning to Natasha.

"Please, _please_, talk some sense into him." He pleaded before he stalked out of the room muttering things like "Idiot", "Pansy" and "Exactly like his father". Natasha smiled to herself before turning back to Tony.

"Steve's right you know. You can't let Loki go."

Tony looked at her sharply. "And why not, Ms Widow? Was it not you who asked me to make it a masked ball so that Rock of Ages could go?"

"I wasn't thinking. He can't go, it's disrespectful."

"To who?"

"The dead."

Tony's smile flattened into a straight line. "Look, the guy needs some fun, a change of scenery…"

"Stark, it's a Charity Ball for who?"

"The orphans of the Battle of New York." He answered with annoyed.

"And you killed their parents?" Natasha asked slowly, mechanically, making sure each word hit him with the same weight.

"The chitauri." Stark said catering his tie.

"No. Loki did." Natasha sighed, exasperated., but quickly noticed something snap in Tony's expression. It was a look she'd only seen once or twice.

"And how many parents have you killed, Romanoff?" He said coolly, staring her in the eye.

"Screw that, how many _children_ have you killed Natty, hmm?" Natasha flinched turning away from him quickly.

"It's by goddamn party, and I'll invite who I want. Loki's going." He said finally after some moments of silence.

"Dinner starts at seven. See you there." He muttered before picking up his overcoat and heading out the door.

"Don't pretend you don't want him to go." He said, half to himself, but loud enough for Natasha to catch it.

* * *

She glanced at her reflection nervously, turning this way and that way, making sure the gown looked perfect from every conceivable angle. It was a beautiful dress, a strapless white bodice covered in snowflake like sparked that slowly faded into nothing on the full black skirt that gathered in the back into a small train. Her hair was pulled to the side in messy curls and held in place with a diamond hairpiece that Clint had got her one Christmas. The black domino mask was a recent addition, but was a pretty one, with white crystal edging and black lace covering one side. She started packing her small clutch with the necessary weapons, when she heard a timid knock at her door.

"Um… Lady Natasha? I seem to be unable to tie this… ribbon thing without strangling myself." Loki said in an annoyed tone, holding up the untied bowtie for her to see. She couldn't help but laugh at his expression of unhidden fury.

She invited him leaving the door open, but turned around when she didn't hear him follow.

"You okay?" she said gently, staring cautiously at his shocked face.

"Yes… I'm fine, it's just that…" He sighed, staring at his feet for a moment.

"It's just that you look beautiful." He said with a bashful expression. He walked over and started tracing the pattern of her dress with his fingertips.

"It's snow falling on a winter's night." He said quietly with a small smile.

"Always the poet." Natasha muttered with a smirk, desperately trying to halt the steady blush that was rising to her cheeks. She took the bow tie from his hand and began to fasten it around his neck.

"Do you have a mask?" She said trying to fill the heavy silence in the room.

"Indeed I do. I went into my room after lunch and everything was laid out for me. I think Mr Stark, always intended for me to go." He finished quietly. "He's a better man than I gave him credit for."

"We've all experienced that realization."

He simply nodded, noticing that she was finished fastening the neck tie, and that she was going to move away any second. He gently let his hands linger on her waist, hoping with every fibre of hiss being that she wouldn't move away.

She let herself blush this time, she was to focused on other things to stop it. She rested her head on his shoulder inhaling his scent, listening to his breathing. She felt his hand creep up to cup the back of her neck, a shudder running through her spine, and then they both leapt out of their skin when they heard a small cough from the open doorway. Loki swore under his breath quickly taking a few paces away as if her were simply in her room to look out of her window, while Natasha walked to the door.

"Clint, it's not what you think, Loki just needed help with his bow tie, I promise…"

He made a small noise between a sigh and a laugh, before shooting her a look of bitterness and Loki a look of pure hatred, and half marching half running down the hall.

Natasha stared after him with guilt and regret coursing through her veins. Loki crept up behind her intertwining her hand with his.

"Natasha, you don't need to feel guilty…" He started, but stopped when she yanked herself away.

"Of course I need to feel guilty! God knows what he's going through, he needs me, he's always been there for me Loki, and the one time he needs me he finds me with you, and… and…" She sighed turning away from him.

"You should get going."

"Natasha you say, 'with me' as if it were a bad thing."

"Isn't it?" She said emotionlessly with a shrug of her shoulders.

Silence of a different kind filled the small apartment again and when Natasha turned around, Loki was gone.

* * *

"Colonel Matthews, Ms Rushman, and a pleasure to meet you at last." The stout man said with a low bow that seemed to cost him quite a bit of energy.

"Likewise." She said with an easy smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Are you here alone? " He said loudly calling a nearby waiter to fill up his glass.

"She shook her head. "I'm here with Dr. Banner. If you'll excuse me."

She stood up quickly leaving her napkin on the chair behind her, shaking the smell and aura of the drunk man away from her. She moved into the nearest ladies room, trying to rearrange the careful mask that was starting to slip from her face- and she wasn't thinking about the black lace one. Her disguise as Natalie Rushman was starting to fall away, and the worried and scared face of Natalia Romanova was showing through. She shook away the thought, massaging some cold water into her temples and neck. She gave her reflection a hard stare then let the pleasing grin spread out across her features again.

She walked into the main ballroom, where a waltz was playing. She moved silently through the crowd , turning and ducking her head whenever anybody stared to long. Everybody wanted to meet the single female Avenger but if anybody made the connection between her and the infamous Black Widow…

Finally she spotted Bruce through the crowds. He was standing awkwardly by one of the huge windows, alone.

"Hey." She called moving beside him. They both watched Tony spin a frantic looking Pepper across the room, then she moved head over to his slightly.

"Any news on Selvig?"

He gave the smallest shake of his head and Natasha groaned inwardly. All the same no news was good news right?

"Shall we dance?" He said quietly, offering her his hand.

"Why Dr Banner, I would be delighted."

"Protect your feet at all costs." He said with a grin.

"A mission impossible if I ever heard one."

They both laughed but the conversation stopped as Bruce started counting one, two, three in his head, his mouth occasionally forming the words.

She had counted a total of seven foot-stepping incidents when she felt someone tapping her shoulder.

"May I?" A silky voice purred and Bruce stopped looking surprised.

"Sure thing Laufyson, have at it."

Loki gave him a small grin then took his place as Natasha's partner.

"I finished all the books you gave me."

She nodded, glad he wasn't talking about their conversation from earlier.

"any particular favourites?"

"I actually rather enjoyed Pride and Prejudice. Out of all of them it seemed the most realistic… at least for this world."

"What caught your attention?"

He shrugged. "All the characters were so very quick to judge Darcy, and they never even considered for a moment that there might be a different tale to be told."

Natasha smiled to herself. "So you sympathised with it?"

"I would just like to think that if I ever met an Elizabeth, she would give me the chance to tell my own version of events, before she deemed me a completely evil being." He looked at her from the corner of her eye, and she knew what he was trying to say.

"Actions speak louder than words." She said coolly, her eyes travelling to the large screen that had a "Help the Orphans" on it in colourful lettering. Loki frowned.

"How can I…" But Natasha held up a finger and some one tapped into her earpiece.

"Natasha we need your help." Steve said his voice urgent. Natasha sighed.

"Can't you ask Clint?"

"That's just the thing… we can't find him."


	9. Chapter 9, Past the Point of No Return

**Sorry I'm late :/ This chapter is slightly dark, but next chapter there'll be extra fluff :D On a slightly different note, if there's anybody good at covers for fanfics, I'd be thrilled if you'd PM me, 'cuz I really want one for this one! Thanks as always to AlisonAPD and Moriarty-assbutt for their lovely reviews and my wonderful Beta, thefrozencherryblossom!**

Chapter Nine

"What do you mean, you can't find him?" Natasha hissed, well on her way to becoming hysterical. Steve flinched at her tone.

"Just that, Nat. We can't reach him, we can't track him… He's just vanished."

She stopped for a moment, running a hand through her hair, before gathering up her skirts to catch up with Steve's fast march.

"We all have trackers; he'd have to cut open his arm to get it out." She said mechanically, wondering why nobody had thought of this.

"His trail stopped here." Tony said with a grimace from one of the large indoor fountains. He indicated towards the pool, where she saw several earpieces and communicators in the water. She walked around to the other side and gasped at the metal chip floating in a puddle of red. She raised her hand to her mouth and let out a muffled scream.

Bruce took off his glasses – as sure sign of concentration - and started asking questions, before turning back to Natasha.

"Look you know Clint better than anyone, and we all knows he's been a little… off lately. But has anything happened… any incident that would have set off a trigger, anything that would have driven him to wanting to run basically." He said in a voice so calm that she wanted to hit him.

She glanced at Loki sending him a thousand messages in the one look. _Do you know this is our fault? Do you know where's he gone? Did you know this was going to happen?_

She turned back to Bruce and tried to hold back tears as she whispered "No."

* * *

Leaning on the railing she watched the twirling figures in black and white move across the floor underneath. She let out the long-held in sobs. Natasha Romanoff rarely ever cried. But God knew that when she did, it would be over Clint Barton.

"Natasha, you mustn't worry." Loki said softly from beside her.

"He's gone missing, it's my fault, and don't you dare say it isn't. Of course I'm going to worry." She sighed.

"He's been my brother, my rock all these years, and the one time he needs my help… I do what I'm best at and run away." She stopped suddenly.

"This isn't anything to do with you is it" She said anger flashing through her eyes. Loki gulped. Well, he was in this deep, he might as well keep digging.

"I swore to you, Clint was fine, just suffering from some survivor's guilt. This is probably all this is, hiding from the people he thinks he ruined."

He took her hand in his. "He'll be fine love, you'll see." Natasha smiled gently when her communicator came alive with static.

"Whose… Tony? Where are you?"

"Nat, come to the roof." He said, his voice getting louder and softer with each gust of wind.

"Have you found -" but Tony, cut her joy short with his urgent tone.

"Just get to the roof now!".

"Yes, sir!" Natasha called automatically at his commanding manner, and immediately started moving towards the elevator, never letting go of Loki's hand.

* * *

She stepped out of the lift, and was almost knocked over by the strength of the wind. _A storm is coming_ she thought to herself grimly, before she even registered the scene before her.

"Barton, you don't want to do this…" Thor boomed his voice carrying over the gale.

"Just come back and we can talk!" Bruce shouted finishing Thor's sentence. Natasha's heart leaped with joy and then felt thirty feet into her stomach when she saw what was happening. Steve, Bruce and Thor had formed a small semi-circle, each shouting and yelling words of comfort. Tony was suited up a hovering over the side of the building, arms out stretched as if to catch something… or someone. Because Clint, her Clint, was balancing on the edge of the low wall, knees bent, as if her were about to jump. A piercing scream filled the air. Natasha willed for it to stop before she realised it was her.

She ran towards the wall not knowing if she was going to pull him back or jump with him. Thor grabbed her, holding her by her arms, as she struggled in his grasp.

"Clint, please, come back", she cried "I'm sorry, so sorry…"

Thor gestured towards Loki. "Get her out of here".

He immediately pulled her into his chest, stroking her hair, but she pushed him away swiftly.

Clint turned back to look at her, his eyes stormier than the sky above them. He softened at her reddened, tear-stained face, but didn't move an inch. He mouthed an apology before preparing himself again. Everybody leaped forward a couple of feet, but it was Loki's cry of "Stop!" that caught their attention.

"Barton this is madness! Yes, all the pain would go, all the voices in your head, all the dreams, but how much pain would you leave behind? Not only for your team, your country, the people whose lives you saved, but for her?" He shouted over the wind, pointing at Natasha who was huddled into Steve.

"What would she do without you? She can hardly function now, without your mind intact, how will she cope without you all together?"

Clint turned away, his face full of thought.

"You can't face the idea of her leaving you, but this is cowardly, I should know, I've done the same. I took you because I thought you had heart. They, your team, chose you for the same reason. Don't prove them wrong." He finished. Natasha watched in awe as Clint relaxed his shoulders and climbed down from the wall. She jumped out of Steve's arms, and ran to Clint, wrapping her arms around his neck like, and sobbing like she'd never cried before.

* * *

"Hey." She called softly, glancing around the room until she found him on his couch reading.

"Hey." He repeated with a small smile, standing up to greet her.

"Clint's sleeping. They're monitoring him, but I think he's good now. He's better." She said with a grin.

"I'm glad."

She moved towards him. "He's better thanks to you. I didn't know you had it in you. I told you, that you could change."

She laughed but stopped when he remained serious.

"Natasha, I'd be lying if I said I didn't do it for you."

Her breath caught in her throat as he threw her a rueful smile.

"Loki…"

"No, I mean it." He sighed. "I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew it had begun."

She blushed. "Don't you quote Pride and Prejudice."

He laughed. "_As you wish."_

And with that she crushed her lips to his. He responded quickly moving his hands from her waist up into her hair, then cupping the back of her neck. She moved away, resting her head on his chest, still locked in his embrace.

At first Loki didn't recognise the emotion he was feeling then swiftly realised it must be happiness, something he hadn't felt for years. He knew he'd have to tell her the truth eventually. But surely he deserved a little happiness?


	10. Chapter 10, The Good Life

**Hey! I know I promised you fluff, and so I have delivered, and like 98% is all fluffy, but there's that 2% that needed to be there to at least hint at what's going to happen in the rest of story. Thanks to Moriarty-assbutt, AlisonAPD and TheEmoVanity for their won****derful reviews (TheEmoVanity- _so many reviews, thank you so much! ^_^) _Also special thanks to AlisonAPD for the beautiful cover she made for my humble story! HAVE YOU SEEN TTDW YET? IF YOU HAVE OMGOMGOMG IF YOU HAVEN'T PREPARE TO CRY WHEN YOU DO. Happy reading. :)**

Chapter 10

Loki woke up in a cold sweat, his breathing heavy, crying out into the dark. He only stopped when a slim, cool hand rested on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. It was a dream… just a nightmare." Natasha muttered soothingly, kissing his bare shoulder softly. Loki reached back pulling her closer to him.

"First one in a while." He remarked, still focusing on the confusing images rushing through his mind. Natasha frowned, making Loki grin.

"Don't take offense, love. I knew I wouldn't get a permanent break from them. It's nothing to do with you." He leaned over, kissing her gently.

"What time is it?" He asked quickly trying to find his watch in the dark?"

"5:15… I'd better leave." Natasha said quickly standing up to gather her clothes.

"Is that really necessary?" Loki muttered, wincing when she turned on the light.

"You never know when Tony decides to do a wake-up call, or when Steve or Clint want to go jogging or something. And if they walk in to find that I'm not there, and that my bed hasn't been slept in, what will they think?" She said with a smirk at Loki's scowl. He knew she was right. They didn't want any awkward questions. Not just yet.

* * *

"So Reindeer Games, less than two months left. Are you considering redemption yet?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. Loki rolled his eyes.

"One think I pride myself on, Stark, is my obstinacy."

"Meaning," Steve interjected, sitting down beside them, "that you're stubborn."

"Say it as you will. I'm not apologising." Loki answered, before rising up from the table, but Tony called him back again.

"Whoa, I'm not done with you yet," He said loudly, pulling him back down again by his sleeve.

"What now?" Loki said warily, at Tony's expression. It as one he knew very well- the look you had when you were about to blackmail someone.

"So," he began, "I was about to settle down for the night when Pepper asked me to get something from her office. Me, being the perfect gentleman that I am, went down to get it for her. As you know, the quickest way to the offices is past the fourth floor bedrooms… i.e. your room. As I passed, I was aghast to hear some very questionable noises coming from said bedroom." He paused to acknowledge Loki's look of guiltiness, and Steve's look of confusion and then horror.

"So, Loki, you old dog you… Who is she?"

"Who's who?" Natasha asked setting her tray down beside Loki. She missed the fleeting looks of 'go away' Loki was throwing her.

"The poor girl Loki entrapped in his bed last night." Tony said with glee.

Natasha thanked her lucky stars that she had years of training to deal with these situations, and that Loki as the God of Lies and stuff probably knew how to handle them too.

There was silence for a few seconds before Tony started getting impatient.

"Now we're all grown-ups, Loki of Asgard, there's no need to be embarrassed."

Loki groaned softly before making up a lie in his head.

"One of those secretary women you have all over the place." He said swiftly taking a drink, using the opportunity to glance at Natasha. She was wearing her signature mask of indifference, with a mild curiosity thrown into the mix. In Odin's name, she was good at this. Perhaps even better that he was.

"Well, I would ask which one, but I'm not in the habit of being on a first name basis with my employees, so I wouldn't know."

"Good, seeing as I'm not comfortable discussing the subject with the people I'm supposed to be at war with." Loki said coolly.

"Here, here!" Steve muttered raising his glass in agreement.

* * *

"We're going to have to pay a secretary to play along- Tony's not going to forget this." Natasha murmured into Loki's neck.

"Or, we could just tell him I'm courting you and have done with it?"

Natasha stifled a laugh. "Is that what this is? You're _courting _me?"

"I'd like to think so." Loki mused in mock seriousness. "We probably should have a chaperone or something. Thor might do, I can see him as the over-protective Nurse…" Natasha did laugh at that, then feeling slightly guilty for laughing at her team-mate.

"_Are _we going to tell them?" He asked turning on his side to face her.

"Maybe when you've announced your redemption."

"Oh, so never then."

Natasha looked at him, her expression suddenly serious.

"Loki, you aren't going to keep this… Mighty God thing up forever are you? You like us, don't even deny it; you're like… bros or something with Tony." She answered hating the most apt term she could think of.

"True, I do enjoy Stark's company." He conceded, nodding with her words.

"And then there's me…" She continued, trailing off with a blush.

"And then there's you." He repeated with a smile.

"And what am I exactly? Is there a word for what I am to you?" She said quietly, nuzzling into his arm.

"Other than lover?" He said with a smirk. She shuddered at description used about her so often in the past.

"Other that lover, _please." _

He thought for a moment, before letting out a sigh.

"I don't think there's an actual word to describe what you are to me right now. _A comfort_ seems too little; _a need_ seems to rash… So I'll try some other way."

"Less than a month ago, I would feel physically ill at the idea of having to apologise to your people, or grovel for forgiveness at Odin's feet, but now… Whenever I imagine one of those scenarios in my head, I'd like to think that you'd be beside me, or be waiting for me back on Earth, and in truth, it gives me strength. You make me stronger. You'd make it all worthwhile in the end." He finished quietly, glancing at her from the corner of his eye, both afraid and longing to see her expression. He didn't see much though, since before he could react she kissed him, puling herself as close to him as physically possible.

"Always the poet." She said softly against his lips.

* * *

_The pain was unbearable. Like somebody was ripping him limb from limb. The Other glared at him, malice in his eyes, his features filled with delight at his pain._

"_Tell me, what hurts more? This, or when you're brother triumphed over you on Midgard?"_

_He didn't answer, only looked on in horror at Natasha limp, lifeless body in front of him._

He tried not to wake up Natasha as he stole out onto the small balcony. Breathing in the cold night air, he knew he was going to tell her that they weren't nightmares.

He'd had premonitions before.


	11. Chapter 11, Falling Slowly

**Internet's back! Yeah! In my defense I did manage to put an explanation on tumblr, I don't know if any of you guys saw it... also I should probably warn you that this is a filler... sorry. Thanks as always to AlisonAPD and Moriarty-assbutt for their reviews, (^_^)**

Chapter 11

"It wasn't a secretary was it?"

Loki stopped short at Tony's random and terrifying quip as they looked at jewellery for his Lady Pepper.

"What are you talking about?" He said disinterestedly as he admired a necklace in one of the glass cases.

"Your lady friend from last week. See, I've done some research and have discovered you couldn't have, at any point, interacted with one of my secretaries."

"Is that so?" Loki said, with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

"Yup. And also I was talking to Thor, and he said that you like to hang out with them for a bit, before… doing the do." Tony said bending over a set of earrings, peering at them over his sunglasses.

"Thor said that?"

"Well, his actual words were something like 'my brother, he likes the thrill of the chase… it would not be like him to take a lady at random.'" Tony finished with a bad impression of Thor's booming voice, earning him some strange looks from the other shoppers.

"Well if it wasn't an employee of yours, who was it?" Loki asked, beginning to become confident that Stark didn't really know what he was talking about… as per usual.

"Now, we get to the fun bit," he said with a grin

"Option number one: Pepper. Not likely, seeing as she was in my room when I left. Of course you could have zapped her to you, but daddy Odin took your powers away didn't he? So not Pepper."

Loki shook his head. "Not Pepper. Go on."

Tony nodded. "Option number two: Maria Hill. She was on the baby sitting roster once or twice so you would have had a chance to talk to her. But I doubt it- she's pretty incorruptible. Also she's sweet on the good Captain. So not Hill."

Loki laughed. "Fury's right hand woman? I think not. I'm trying to redeem myself remember?"

"There's one more option, and I'm pretty sure I'm right." Tony warned. Sensing danger Loki waved him off.

"I've lost interest, metal man. Try again some other time." He said quickly marching out of the room. But Starks next sentence caught his attention.

"It was Red, wasn't it?"

Loki took a deep breath before turning back.

"Red?" He asked calmly.

"You know. Black Widow, the spider, our very own Natasha Romanoff?"

Loki looked at him from the corner of his eyes, smiling to himself at the very mention of her name,

"You're good."

Tony smirked with pride.

"I like to think that I was Sherlock Holmes in my past life."

Loki kept focused on the jewellery in front of him.

"Are you going to tell the others?"

"Not if you two don't want me to."

"I'd appreciate that."

They were silent for a while as Tony finally selected an intricate diamond and ruby bracelet and paid for it. As they walked to back to the car, Tony's nosiness got the better of him.

"Is it just casual or like… is there feelings?," He said awkwardly, "because if you're going to hurt her, you'll have a very pissed off billionaire, genetically enhanced super-soldier, green rage monster, God of Thunder and trained assassin on your case."

"I care for her deeply."

"Oh. Okay then."

"I'm actually supposed to be meeting her for lunch, so…"

"Yes, go to your Lady, good Sir Rudolph." Tony said with a low bow, before sliding into his car.

* * *

"Hey, sorry I'm late." Natasha said quickly as she slid into the booth across from him. "Steve had some trouble with a fruit blender and I couldn't get away."

"How was shopping with Stark?"

"He made some very clever deductions about my tale. Your right- He was like a dog with a bone."

She suddenly went very pale. "Does he know?"

He nodded slowly. Natasha was about to answer when a very pretty waitress came to take their order.

"Hi, what can I get you?" She said directly at Loki, her eyes wide with interest, and, to Natasha's horror, faint recognition.

"Well, I think the vegetable soup sounds delicious. Natalie? What about you?"

The waitress's face turned dark upon seeing Natasha, but she kept glancing at Loki, trying to figure out where she'd seen him. Natasha gave her less than ten minutes until she figured it out. They had to get out of here.

"You know what? I'm not that hungry_. Can we eat later?" _she said very pointedly. Though not knowing quite what she meant, Loki nodded with a smile.

"Of course, love" He turned back to waitress. "Terribly sorry." They were almost out the door, when they heard a quiet gasp from behind.

"Oh my god… isn't that, isn't he?" She stuttered raising a finger to Loki's confused face.

"No." Natasha said determinedly. "You must be mistaken."

They quickly ran out the porch, and practically jumped into the nearest Taxi.

"That was close." Natasha muttered under her breath. "I thought nobody would recognise you… it's been so long, and let's face it, you look a lot better now…"

"Oh, so that's what happened. Here's me thinking you were jealous."

Natasha laughed. "Don't flatter yourself." Her laughter ended swiftly, when her stomach let out a rumble.

"How very ladylike" Loki said with a smirk.

"Come on, we'll go to a stand or something."

* * *

"And what do you call this delicacy again?"

"A hotdog."

"And why might I ask…" he trailed off as his eyes moved over the large marble wall in front of him.

"What's this?" He asked softly.

"The Battle of New York memorial stand." Natasha said quietly. She reached out to take his hand, which he squeezed gratefully.

"So many names… is this because of me?"

Natasha didn't say anything, knowing that he didn't want to hear the answer. Instead she kissed his cheek.

"We should get out of here, somebody might recognise you again."

"Orphans, widows, a childless mother… all because of my blindness."

"Loki…" Natasha said, gently pulling him back to a waiting cab.

"There must be some way I can redeem myself. There must be some deed I can do."

Natasha smiled before pressing her lips against his.

"Let's just get back to Stark's first. Then we can talk."


End file.
